Oh Dear Ground, Please Swallow Me Alive

Here I am mit5amra jidam il new 42" TV watching showtime that Ive missed so much because nobody bothered to renew the subscription that expired 6 months ago due to multiple random reasons. Enjoying my day. Havent done anything since I got back from work except eat and change my clothes. Mom is loving it cos Im not going out as much since the new TV arrived. Dad just got home and sitting by me watching whatever random "crap" he thinks I always watch.

Anyways so Im flicking between 2 channels watching an episode of Desperate Housewives, one that Ive already seen, as well as Hollywood's 101 Most Kept Secrets. So ive watched almost the whole thing and were at number 8 or 9 and the secret is about Arnold Shwartz-nigger so I think "Dad, likes him so I wont flick back to DH to update myself". So were sitting there watching and they are randomly babbling about some article that was published in the papers when he had just been elected Mayor and I had random thoughts of English Speaking classes, long lost family, illigetimate child . . .

. . . shock horror. A scene of Arnie in all his glory, afro 80's hairstyle and erotic facial expressions humping away at something that cannot be seen except for the delicate waxed knees by the sides of his torso. Suddenly the knees stretch out, and just in case u didnt get it, its a pair of "supposedly sexy" red stilleto heels now by the sides of his face.

I quickly try to change the channel in order to avoid any more graphic images when DH is showing a scene when Gabby is trying to seduce Carlos out of giving Sister Mary Hot Pants the pink slip to his brand new Jaguar by offering a 5 minute fellatio session.

Oh Dear Ground, Please Swallow Me Alive.